Mummies can be scared of the dark too.

(and by that I mean mothers, not the ancient mummified version. Glad we could clear that up.)

I was woken up in the wee hours by a scream coming from my sons room; a nightmare. I made my way to him and found my upset little guy trying to get out, scared by something he’d dreamt about (I can’t remember what it was now, but whatever it was had obviously truly terrified him). I picked him up and cuddled him as he calmed down. As his breathing became slower, I noticed my heart still pounding. Worried for him as I was, there was something else - part heartbroken for the poor little man, part terrified of the “monster” in the dark myself. As much as I was comforting him, I needed reassuring too.

Now, the occasional and forgivable white lies such as “No I don’t know where your *insert name of excessively loud and irritating toy here* could have gotten to!” aside - I’ve never felt much need to lie to the kid. He’s switched on and curious, and we chat about nearly everything. But that night, I flat out lied. Because the truth wasn’t going to help him right now: that mummy was scared too. Obviously I knew (deep, deep down) that we were fine. But it was pitch black in there, and paranoia was setting in quick. So a string of comforting words flowed out that, as intended, soothed him, but they also helped me feel bolder. 

Truth is I’ve never been great with the dark, my imagination is far too lively to let the dark be boring. But I’ve largely conquered that fear in the last couple of years; after all the night time house wanderings with a newborn, I’ve learnt a skill or two (HA! perhaps the understatement of the year…). But every now and then it will catch me again. So I realised something - sometimes mummies can be afraid of the dark too. And sometimes mummies lie. It makes me wonder how often my own mother hid her fear to help me feel safer. It makes me wonder how many times I will do it again under this title of Parent/Protector/Monster fighter. Amazing the trust these little beings put in us as parents. The best reason to be brave. 

 So how 'bout it? Surely I can’t be the only one?! 

 H x

And now for C's weigh in...

I am a self proclaimed, scared-of-the-dark adult! Nothing else to it but that I am petrified of what is there when I open my eyes in the dark. I am lucky, I don't do the midnight walks to children very often and I certainly don't get up in the middle of the night for the toilet, by choice! Yes I said it... I sleep through the night. Sorry to all the mums reading who haven't slept through the night since... well, since they can't remember, or to all those who wake up to go to the toilet. A little tip from a friend of mine who is renovating: she recently put a dimmer in her toilet and while at first I thought 'who needs a mood light for such a room?' it eventually clicked... it's for all of us people scared of the dark!   x C