Before my last position I had never really worked with children older than four years old, full time. I have always been around them and spent time with them but to be completely honest I never felt the desire to work with them. I always considered that they would be stuck in their own way and it would be harder to guide them or set the rules. That was until I found a job, that was an amazing challenge and opportunity with multiple ages and four children! It made me realise it wasn't them it was me, I didn't want to change my ways for them. It was an exciting adventure to embark on and I am so glad I did.
I have learnt many things on this journey and I have another notch in my belt for things I can handle. Trust me there are plenty! I am in particular talking about working with a then 7 year old and 11 year old (who are now 9 and 13. Crazy). We have faced the start of the teens and the end of being a little girl. We have dealt with massive changes in family life, personal emotions, siblings, school and so much more. I wanted to share with you all a few things. The reasons why I now love the thought of working with older children. Maybe it will encourage you to step out of the realm of babies and change who you are as a nanny, parent, carer or grandparent. I know I am not the same since having this experience and I am proud of that.
1 - My mates. I don't think I have ever made better friends. We talk about rubbish and converse about life issues that I would tend to skip over. These children became so concerned with me that they checked on me (genuinely), they were surprised when something was wrong because I was the big strong adult. Imagine that! I am the adult, it still surprises me how shocked I am when I realise I am on the other end of that friendship. I long for our chats and love their love. It is amazing the friendships we have created and the bonds that are unbreakable. One major point to make is that they will remember me when I am gone, they are not too young to remember the role I played and that in itself is a whole new place to be in for me.
2 - Naivety and knowledge. They are so naive yet have so much knowledge that I don't. The reality is it's been a long time since I was at school, so they have plenty to teach me. And don't they love it when they know something I don't. Their naivety means they absorb more, they learn more and they share more. It's a quality we tend to lose as adults, with the exception of starting a new job or something of the kind. Remember how much you learnt when you were new at something, so eager to not be a novice?
3 - I'm smart. Now this is one that I hate to admit, but it's true. They make me feel super smart. It's not the same as working with babies, toddlers or even preppies, it's different. I can't lie to them, if I don't know the answer I have to admit that and succumb to Google. They even do the googling. But most of the time, even surprising to me, I know the answer. Every time I do know it reminds me of when I ask my mother something and how she must feel so clever when she can answer. They hang on to my every whim, like I am Google at times. It's great! It is also a great boost to know that I have a memory and I have retained something even after the sleepless nights and long days.
4 - Lessons learnt. Like I say to everyone, this job is not for the faint hearted, neither is parenting. The lessons we learn are amazing. I cannot believe I can now say that I helped someone through their teens. With lessons should come reflection, children know how to reflect, some of them talk through it and some just have a moment alone. We are all too busy in our world of to do lists (yes even me, especially me) that we forget to take in what we learn. For some reason I find they know to do this without even being prompted. They know when they need to take a break (of course maybe they are over homework or talking and want to play, because they will say anything to get out of it but this still applies) to do something else, change the course of thinking for now. That is a skill I am glad to learn!
5 - Adaptation. I am a different teacher and nurturer now, someone who has more patience and can let go of things I cannot control. Something I am happy to admit I needed to learn! Older children take on much more independence, and so they should. They are preparing for growing up whether we want to admit it or not. They are so resilient! Something I feel we all lose a touch of over the years. From working with babies and toddlers to working with ages 7-13 meant I needed to be different. Different for each one of them. I can now say I am a chameleon and that feels great! To know I can adapt to each child and help them the way they need to be helped, now that is what my job is all about! This may not even be due to ages but because of personalities. Either way, it is something else I can admit is a reason I now appreciate working with older children.
6 - Mistakes. At the risk of sounding like I make mistakes all of the time, I want to admit something! I love the thought that I will make less mistakes when I have my own children, well maybe. Not that I make mistakes with other peoples children either, it really is just part of any process, trial and error. Most parents go through one lot of adolescence and then totally nail the next and the next but me, I am ready to nail the next already and I haven't even really started. This goes for everything in their lives. We all have to trial and error and each child is different so maybe my mistakes have lead me to know, to take it slow and be ready for adapting to each moment and child!
7 - Staying young. Older children love it when you join in their festivities and jokes! It makes them feel included and heard! It has certainly brought out the big kid in me more and more over the years! They keep me young although I know I'm not old ... Yet. If they can keep me young then hopefully I can keep them young and not let them grow old before their time!
8 - Self sufficient - they are capable of the mundane tasks that younger children take for granted. I love those tasks, it certainly makes me feel needed however it also leaves room for helping them with meaningful things like life changes and growth. This to me is so much more rewarding!
It's amazing what we can learn about ourselves from others. To my two older bunnies, thank you for teaching me!
Love C x
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